Just Do It

The purpose of this blog is to allow me to say things, and there is a lot I want to talk about.  I have always found that for me, writing is therapeutic.  It allows me to pour out my heart on paper and it knows every pain, tear, smile, and fear I may have.  Writing has always been my escape.  But in starting this blog, I have only written about certain things.  I have purposely limited myself.  I am struggling with the decision to really open up and write about personal experiences because I know that certain people may be offended or get their feelings hurt.  The last thing I want to do is hurt anyone, but I want to write about my experiences, and certain life situations that have haunted me for years.  I need to write about them.

So, what do I do?  Do I allow certain people to silence me?  Or should I just use this new found voice that I have?  The demons that have always haunted me tell me to be silent.  But I want to silence those demons.  I still struggle with what people will think of me, but I am trying to overcome that.   44 years of allowing this behavior will not change overnight!

I recently had some people mock my decision to be "selfish."  I know they obviously don't understand what I mean by that, but to mock me, only makes me stronger.  You won't discourage me. You can't knock me down.  Your negativity only makes me want it more.  And I will succeed.

With that being said, I will continue to write.  And I know that eventually I will win this struggle.  Again, my intentions are not at all to hurt any one's feelings, and I will never "air my dirty laundry,"  I only want to share my experiences with others, in hopes that I can help someone.  Everyone has gone through what I have been through at some point in their lives, so if only one person reads my blog and walks away with a sense of peace, then it all will be worth it.

I pray daily for understanding, patience, strength, and the will to succeed.  I see things clearer than I have ever seen them before.  I have a goal, I have plans, and I have faith.  I will defeat this struggle. Thank you, "Moufasa," for encouraging me to JUST DO IT!!!

Peace & Love
Kristina