The purpose of this blog is to allow me to say things, and there is a lot I want to talk about. I have always found that for me, writing is therapeutic. It allows me to pour out my heart on paper and it knows every pain, tear, smile, and fear I may have. Writing has always been my escape. But in starting this blog, I have only written about certain things. I have purposely limited myself. I am struggling with the decision to really open up and write about personal experiences because I know that certain people may be offended or get their feelings hurt. The last thing I want to do is hurt anyone, but I want to write about my experiences, and certain life situations that have haunted me for years. I need to write about them.
So, what do I do? Do I allow certain people to silence me? Or should I just use this new found voice that I have? The demons that have always haunted me tell me to be silent. But I want to silence those demons. I still struggle with what people will think of me, but I am trying to overcome that. 44 years of allowing this behavior will not change overnight!
I recently had some people mock my decision to be "selfish." I know they obviously don't understand what I mean by that, but to mock me, only makes me stronger. You won't discourage me. You can't knock me down. Your negativity only makes me want it more. And I will succeed.
With that being said, I will continue to write. And I know that eventually I will win this struggle. Again, my intentions are not at all to hurt any one's feelings, and I will never "air my dirty laundry," I only want to share my experiences with others, in hopes that I can help someone. Everyone has gone through what I have been through at some point in their lives, so if only one person reads my blog and walks away with a sense of peace, then it all will be worth it.
I pray daily for understanding, patience, strength, and the will to succeed. I see things clearer than I have ever seen them before. I have a goal, I have plans, and I have faith. I will defeat this struggle. Thank you, "Moufasa," for encouraging me to JUST DO IT!!!
Peace & Love