Over the past few weeks, I have been in contact with someone from my past. Someone who is very special to me. We have history, and at one point, we were in love and pretty serious. But things slowly began to fall apart. We hurt each other deeply and eventually ended the relationship. Now, he has come back into my life and we are trying to start over. Trying to mend our friendship, first and foremost, but also hoping to give our relationship a second chance. We both know where we went wrong, and the mistakes we made, but there are still feelings there and we are curious to see if we can make this relationship work. Being able to forgive each other for the mistakes we made is not the problem, but forgetting is an entirely different story. I really don't believe that it's humanly possible to forget something that caused your heart to break, but I do believe that you can choose to let it go and move past it. We can choose to let go of the pain, anger, and sorrow that it caused us but the memory of it will always be present. I don't ever want to use that against him or throw it in his face, but it is important to me that the only power I allow it to have is to only be a memory and not a life sentence.
If we are successful the second time around, I know that I will cherish him, and us, forever because of everything we went through to get to this point. Realizing our mistakes and where we went wrong, learning from those mistakes, being apart, missing each other enough to want to try again, and truly recognizing each others worth while we were apart says so much to me about how strong our relationship is, and can be. We both believe that we needed to break up and take this time apart to fully realize how much we want to be together. We needed that time to realize the importance of what we had and how much we mean to each other. I think it was the smartest thing we could have done. I hate that we hurt each other so much, but that pain has made me a different person and I am grateful for that. It has made me realize the person I want to be and I would never have made that realization had it not been for our relationship falling apart.
I am certain that I am able to let go of the past and concentrate only on our future, if we have one. I know that being with him is what I want and that I will fight for us everyday. I will take care of him and put no one before him. He will be my family and all of the bad will remain in the past. I will love him, trust him, and respect him enough to forgive him and move on. After all, isn't that what true love is all about? Forgiveness and moving forward??
Only time will tell, but I am confident that I am a strong enough person to put all the bad behind me and love him again. He means enough to me that, if we decide to put forth the time and effort that this reconciliation deserves, I will make sure that I will never deliberately hurt him again, and I pray he can promise me the same thing. Our love deserves a second chance. WE deserve a second chance.
I guess what I'm trying to say, is that, forgiveness is key. It is so important. And although we may not be able to fully forget, you must be willing to let it go if you want to move forward.
I am choosing to let it go. I choose us.
Peace & Love