Sunday, April 10, 2016

Too Much, Too Soon

Ever feel like you've said too much?  At the time, you thought you were doing the right thing because you were being completely honest and felt it was important for the other person to know exactly how you felt. But then the inevitable happens...the other person gets distant, doesn't call or text, and you're left feeling like the biggest dumb ass ever.  You were so caught up in the moment and only wanted to express your true feelings because you thought the other person would be receptive, or at least have something to say.

So now, I feel like a fool.  I totally understand that they might not have been ready to discuss certain things, but I still feel stupid.  I don't know how to move on from this because it's already out there.  I feel like the damage has been done.  What do I do now??  I have already apologized but I can't shake the feeling that I might have made a huge mistake.  My intentions were never to make them feel uncomfortable or pressured, I only wanted to be honest and upfront.  I think it was too much, too soon, and I'm worried that my actions might have pushed them away.

Should I feel bad?  I want to be able to say exactly what's on my mind.  I need to be able to express my thoughts and feelings without remorse or feeling like a fool.  I'm not sure where to go from here because there has been no contact.  I normally take the initiative and make the first move, but I'm trying to give them some space to think about what I said and decide if they want to move forward or not.  The fact that we haven't spoken or had any contact terrifies me that something bad is coming.  If something bad is coming, then I am as prepared as I'll ever be for the bad news.  I hope it doesn't come to that, but either way, I will be okay.

I guess I need to be more careful and not put myself out there so much.  I'm still afraid of getting hurt but I'm more afraid of not taking chances.  I don't want to miss out on something that might bring me happiness, and so I sometimes speak without thinking.  I might want to rethink that next time!  I can only pray that I haven't caused any permanent damage.

Peace & Love,

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